Screen Captured from Episode 1

I have been into Korean and Chinese drama series lately. Last week, while scrolling in my Youtube page, I accidentally stumbled upon a Chinese drama, a great one -surprisingly- which I am about to review today. At first, I clicked it because I am thrilled on the number of million views the video has been getting. Like “Oh wow, this must be a good one since most people love it!”. However, I didn’t have that much expectation while starting episode one. In the end, it turned out out that I am hooked with this series and then decided to write a flash review of the story.

This is the synopsis I got from Youtube:

"Where the lost ones go" is basically a love story between Ye Zi and Xiang Ze Yi in college. Ye Zi was an ordinary college student at first, she started her first love, but her first love left without any words, it makes her really upset. Years later, Ye Zi has become a famous comics artist, Xiang Ze Yi came back to Ye Zi and told her that he wants to start over. What should Ye Zi do?”

As what you may capture from above synopsis, this is a melodrama, love story of a freshman and sophomore and how their story unfolds when they are both an adult. Since this is a melodrama, if you have a soft heart you may need to prepare your tissue -and your heart too-. In general, it has similar plot as other general melodrama series: first meeting – in love – in relationship – break up (I don’t think it was a break up tho) – years passed – reunite. However, I love how the production team tells the story in such amazing way, from the characters, original soundtrack, cinematography and cast's acting is just superb! There are flashback scenes each episodes which would bring us back to their college days and then they will show us their current life after 10 years. I found myself questioning what really happened back then during the alternate scenes as I am extremely curious on why they go separates way now -and I don't want to spoiler myself by fast-forwarding each scene lol-. Flashback scenes vibes are mostly cheerful and lovey-dovey whilst present scenes are quite bitter. The director lets us enjoy each character growth and changes in each episodes, too. In this part, I am amazed with male lead acting. Even with his eyes, I can feel his sadness and emotions. I can see the difference of his character in college days and adulthood. Kris Fan, you are such an actor! Chemistry of the main leads is top notch, you can feel it. 

As many other drama series I am in love with, there are many quotes I got (you know, I am quotes collector, they give me life lol). I learned and reflected a lot on myself while watching it. Here are some which make me click the pause button to screen captured it.

"Have you ever bet when you were young?"

I asked this question to myself and while thinking about it, the answer is “Always”. We are never ever be sure of life. Even to this day and I believe years in the future, “Always” will be still my take for such question. There is nothing like 100% of confidence in life. We may expect things to be “A” but no one will guarantee those will really turn to be “A” in the coming days. The series shows how both leads plan things in their relationship, but somethings happen in between. In general, having a relationship itself is a bet as well. Is he/ she really the one? Or it is just our projection of us being together that encourage us to make a bet?

 

“But life isn’t about past, but the future”

“There is no ifs in life, what we can do is to try our best to be ourselves”

Basically, both asks us to move on. Often times we are still dwelling in our memory. But… memory is just… a memory. Either happy or sad, excitement or grief, those happened in the past and we shall let go. For a great one, we maybe trapped in it and thinking we will be still in a happy state without storm. Sure, this is a wrong move as time will always be ticking and our condition will be different. For a sad memory, most of the time we try portraying many ifs scenario. The bitter truth is that, nothing could be changed. In the series, I see the struggle of male lead and how he put ifs scenario. However, in the end it won’t changed what has happened. He could only strive for his life afterwards.

 

"Time made people change. But during that changing, we grew up. So, we shouldn’t be afraid of changing. Instead, we should feel grateful. For it made us know ourselves clearly and turned us into better people.”

“You said things happened all these years made you change. But even without these things, we would still change, right?”

The drama shows us how significant a change could happen to a person, mainly being portrayed by the male leads. He was a carefree, cheerful and talented painter. An accident in one night changes everything. We may see how he in his adulthood become sensitive, careful and very mature after all the hardships he has been going through. I look back at how I was in my teens and indeed I myself has changed. I am still who I am but somehow different. We can’t expect anyone to be in the same state anyway. Change is just… natural and inevitable. However, in this phase -at the very least- we grow. For sure it is our own option whether we want to grow better or worse.

If you are searching a new drama series to accompany your nights or weekend, I would recommend this series to try. It is free on Mango TV channel in Youtube. There are 24 episodes, but each episodes are kinda short, about 35 minutes if you skip the opening and ending music. You can click here to watch the full episodes!

PS: I will make this #DramasMoviesReview as a regular post for any drama series or movies I like. Hopefully I can be consistent lol. See ya on another post!

 

Pict taken from Google

2020. It seemed to be normal in the beginning of this year. I went to work, had me time on my bed, watched k-dramas (lol), and hanged around with my friends. Just until the news of covid-19 (previously they called it coronavirus) came. I remembered we had the information of this virus in late January. The first case in Indonesia was in last February, then on March 13^th, 2020 my office announced remote working for us.

Never ever in my imagination I would experience a pandemic in my life until this. It was happened in a blink of an eye. Like in just few hours, I would say, we had, and still, have dramatic changes in our daily activities. #stayathome campaign is announced everywhere. In an emergency state, we have “lockdown”. Mask is a must and now becomes a fashion item too.

It was hard for me to adapt to this “new normal”, new way of life. I am an introvert myself and love to spend time by myself, but lockdown for months mean I cannot go anywhere without “secure and safe” feeling, even for monthly grocery shopping. I worked by myself without anyone to talk to since I lived alone in Surabaya. I experienced “living by my own self” for about 5 months (March to August). I skipped family time for 2 Eid Days. By far, the craziest year in my life.

When the number of covid-19 cases slowed down in August, I decided to go back to my hometown. And now here I am living with my family. It is now December. Looking back, this year is January – February – March – fast forward – December lol. Time runs faster than it used to be. However, in this “fast forward” moment, I have my own life lessons.

I had more “self-talk” moments than before. I was always being busy with my life, hustle culture people say. “When your mind rests, the world also rests” by Haemin Sunim (check out his beautifully encouraging words on “The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down) rings true for me. During the lockdown, I took time to pause and contemplate. What did I do? What do I want to do? I always have listed goals each year, the realistic and non-realistic one, just because I want myself to be productive. When I reflected on those, say, annual “dream(s)” of me, I was thinking “Omg, I am too hard on myself, I need a proper rest” lol. I don’t say having dream is bad, it is not, by knowing what I really want creates willingness and eagerness inside me to work on it. It is human nature to want more, to crave more than what we have now. It is very normal. But, being present is just as important as working on so-called dream. To be grateful and appreciate the little things in my life, like delicious foods I can afford to eat, healthy body and mind, loved ones around, and job no matter how draining it is. I did express my gratitude on those things, but not to today’s extent. I realize that what I have now is the reality, while future is not yet to happen so I really should enjoy every second I spend everyday.

I am currently living with my family in my hometown. Frankly speaking, this is the longest for me being home after Junior High. I always studied far, worked far, and usually got five days till a month to really enjoy being at home. In my 9 years of living in three different cities, I can say I never expect myself to be a homegirl since. But now, I AM HOME, with my Dad, Mom, brother and sisters. I have never felt this close to my own family. Having serious talk with my Dad and brother, cooking together with Mom and sisters, helping my sisters with their homeworks, and enjoying the village air which is fresher than air conditioner in my room in Surabaya. We develop stronger bond everyday and I really feel loved.

2020 is coming to the end. I cannot say this is the worst year ever. Frustration and complaining are here and there, however, if I take things slower, digging on the situation, I could easily discover many things to be thankful, especially for staying safe and alive.

Finally, this is my favorite saying of -again- Haemin Sunim that is relevant to this situation:

“If you have been unable to change a bad situation, even after many attempts, you should change how you look at the situation. Nothing is intrinsically good or bad. Good or bad is always relative.” 

- The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down -

Sebab, selama ini sebagian dari kita langsung menuntut Tuhan dalam doa untuk membahagiakan kita, di saat kita lupa untuk mempertanyakan sudah sampai mana kualitas diri kita di mata-Nya hingga layak diberi kebahagiaan

-Crowdstroia-

Di dunia ini, sudah sewajarnya manusia memiliki ribuan asa yang mereka ingini. Aku, kamu -kita- sudah pasti hidup dalam kobaran semangat untuk mengejar mimpi. Saat satu keinginan terpenuhi, akan ada keinginan lain yang tumbuh menjadi pengganti. Dalam hati pula berdoa pada Tuhan agar asa-asa itu tidak hanya berada di ujung mimpi. Namun, hidup tak selalu berjalan sesuai kehendak hati. Terkadang, kita dihadapkan pada realita bahwa hidup seringkali jauh dari impian yang kita bangun di setiap denyut nadi. Jika dunia berlaku demikian, sebagian dari kita -bahkan saya sendiri- dengan sadar ataupun tidak seringkali memaki. Marah dan kecewa pada-Nya -sang pemilik kehidupan- yang berlaku demikian keji. Pula menangis iri pada mereka yang mendapatkan karunia yang kita ingini tanpa perlu berlelah-lelah berjuang seorang diri. Apakah memang Tuhan tega berlaku tak adil meski kita sudah berusaha berjuang, berdoa dan memasrahkan diri?

Ketika manusia, terutama saya, memiliki sebuah keinginan, saya akan bekerja demi mewujudkan keinginan tersebut. Bukan hal yang mudah, karena perjuangan benar membutuhkan konsistensi kehendak hati dan pengorbanan yang tidak pernah murah dan mudah. Jika kita sedang berada dalam keadaan yang demikian, sudah pasti kita sudah berangan-angan. Bahwa pada saatnya kita akan berada di titik yang kita impikan, bahwa pada masanya impian kita berakhir menjadi kenyataan. Sembari bermimpi, dalam doa kita meminta Tuhan mengabulkan apa yang kita ingini. Salahkah? Tentu tidak! Tuhan mencintai hamba-Nya yang taat dan tak malu meminta, karena memang sudah menjadi kodrat seorang hamba untuk bersimpuh pada Sang Pencipta. Lalu mengapa, kadang Tuhan berlaku tega? Hey, berupaya hingga banjir peluh dan doa sudah tersemat di setiap guliran waktu, lalu apa lagi yang harus diperbaiki?

Dalam keadaan demikian, saya berpikir mengenai konsep kelayakan. Sebut saja, dalam dunia pendidikan, seorang guru akan memberikan nilai bagus pada murid yang mampu menjawab pertanyaan dengan baik. Mengapa? Karena murid tersebut layak. Dalam situasi lelang, beberapa penawar berani memberikan harga tinggi pada barang yang dilelang. Mengapa? Karena barang tersebut layak tersemat dengan harga yang mereka sebutkan. Demikian pula dengan kehidupan. Mengapa Tuhan tidak jua mengabulkan apa yang kita inginkan? Bisa jadi karena kita masih belum layak untuk mendapatkan keinginan yang kita idam-idamkan.

Maka, mari kita berbenah. Berdoa itu ibadah, sementara berjuang tidak boleh setengah-setengah. Perbaikilah kualitas diri, hingga Tuhan bermurah hati mengabulkan keinginan yang terus terpatri dalam hati. Hamba harus benar-benar menghamba. Dahulu kala, seorang rakyat akan bersimpuh pada raja untuk mengabulkan keinginan mereka. Dalam kehidupan, kita akan memohon pada mereka-mereka yang duduk di bangku kekuasaan. Jika demikian, bukankah sudah selayaknya kita jauh lebih berupaya pada sang pemberi kehidupan? 

Saya sendiri percaya bahwa Tuhan tidak setega itu mempermainkan kehidupan. Dunia itu panggung sandiwara, bukan berarti dunia tidak nyata, hanya saja dunia memang penuh drama. Ada kalanya kita bahagia dan bersuka cita, namun ada pula masanya hidup harus berurai air mata. Namun, jangan sampai kita terlena senda gurau dunia dan terkungkung dalam duka. Tuhan itu sesuai firasat hamba-Nya. Maka, banyak-banyaklah memperbaiki kualitas diri. Mari buktikan bahwa kita layak mengemban amanah yang kita sebut dalam setiap untaian doa pada Ilahi. Jika sudah dinyatakan layak, Tuhan tidak segan-segan mengabulkan apa-apa yang ada dalam benak. 

Sebagai penutup, saya kutipkan lagi sebuah caption di instagram yang ditulis oleh seorang aktor Indonesia, Deva Mahenra:

"Wahai mimpi, aku takkan beranjak ke mana-mana meski terus kau kirimkan letih. Aku di sini sabar mengupayakanmu, sampai kau terima kelayakanku.."

Dalam ketiadaan ku di hidup mu aku tetap bahagia, dan dalam diam ku aku masih setia mencinta

Kuberanikan diri untuk menulis surat ini, teruntuk kakak yang kepada mu aku jatuh hati…

Aku bukan orang yang mudah terlena pada romansa ala anak muda seusia. Hati ku tak mudah tertuju pada satu pintu karena sulit bagi ku untuk percaya kan kalbu ku. Jadi jika suatu ketika aku mulai melirik, aku pastikan aku tak hanya sekedar tertarik.

Susah bagi ku untuk menyadari, bahwa pada akhirnya kau membuat ku teralih dari dunia yang sudah nyaman aku geluti, dunia sepi. Pertemuan pertama menyisakan rasa kagum tiada tara. Ku baca profil mu, dan aku langsung memantapkan hati bahwa kau akan jadi panutan ku. Aku add facebook mu, aku baca petikan-petikan kata yang kau tulis di laman mu. Sungguh, saat itu kau benar-benar jadi penyemangat studi ku.

Suatu ketika, dengan rencana indah Nya kita dipertemukan dalam kegiatan yang tidak pernah kuduga. Tentu, kau tak mengenal ku kala itu. Namun, ketahuilah bahwa sorak-sorai bahagia menggemuruh di dalam dada. Alasan nya sederhana, aku bertemu, bertatap muka dan bercerita pada sang idola. Bertemu hampir setiap hari untuk kurun waktu yang (bagiku) cukup lama membuat ku mengenal mu jauh lebih banyak dari sebelum nya. Ketika dulu aku mengenal mu sebagai sosok yang cerdas, lambat laun aku menyadari bahwa kata cerdas tak bisa mewakili pribadi mu. Kau memiliki aura untuk menciptakan senyum dan tawa di bibir semua. Rendah hati dan selalu percaya diri. Selalu berusaha dan tak pernah lelah menyemangati. Dengan intensitas pertemuan itu dan semakin jauh aku mengenal pribadi mu, tanpa kusadari aku telah jatuh hati. Ya, aku telah jatuh hati…

Aku suka pada baik mu untuk sesama. Aku suka pada setiap tawa yang kau ciptakan pada setiap canda. Aku suka pada semangat mu yang tak berhenti menciptakan manfaat untuk semua. Dan aku suka pada pemikiran mu yang selalu berhasil membuat orang terpana. Aku suka, karena aku menyadari bahwa kau selalu meyakinkan orang bahwa mereka luar biasa…

Tapi aku cukup tau diri. Aku manusia serba biasa yang tak punya apa-apa untuk buat kau bangga. Dan lagi, aku wanita. Manusia yang hanya bisa melembutkan rasa dan menundukan diri menutupi gejolak yang tercipta. Tak ada secuil pun keberanian untuk menyampaikan rasa, karena aku tau aku bukan apa-apa. Lalu, dengan semua pertimbangan yang ada, aku putuskan untuk mencintaimu dalam diam dan menyambangi mu lewat untaian doa…

Untuk waktu yang lama, aku mengintai kabar mu lewat dunia maya. Aku pasang mata, dan pasang telinga. Meski tak bisa bertatap muka, tapi mendengar kabar mu aku sudah bahagia. Melihat kau tersenyum, tertawa, dan bersemangat dengan kawan-kawan mu adalah momen yang berharga. Meskipun, dalam semua hal-hal itu, aku tak ada. Namun dalam ketiadaan ku di hidup mu aku tetap bahagia, dan dalam diam ku aku masih setia mencinta…

Hidup terus berjalan, dan aku berjuang untuk menciptakan makna. Suatu hal besar yang mungkin bisa jadi alasan bagi ku untuk membuat mu bangga. Dengan penuh perjuangan, akhirnya aku mencapai titik tertinggi untuk menciptakan cerita bahagia. Kau menyadari itu, dan kau sampaikan bahagia dan bangga mu untuk ku. Sungguh, dalam periode aku mencinta, titik itu adalah puncak rasa. Sayang nya, layaknya kembang api yang dimainkan di awal tahun matahari, puncak rasa ku hanya bertahan pada masa selentingan jari. Kita hilang komunikasi meski bulan terus berganti. Sedih nya, aku masih setia mencinta mu dalam sepi. Hingga, suatu ketika aku dapat kabar bahwa kau tak lagi sendiri…

Aku tahu, jika aku tak berjodoh dengan mu, maka penantian ku adalah perjuangan semu. Mencinta dalam diam membawa konsekuensi untuk melepas tanpa pernah menggenggam. Bergelung dengan kisah cinta seorang diri memungkinkan ku untuk sedih dalam sepi. Dan… itu semua terjadi…

Aku sedih, meski aku selalu berdalih. Aku menangis sembunyi-sembunyi karena takut ada orang yang mencurigai. Karena sedari awal aku sudah memutuskan untuk mencintai mu seorang diri, maka pada saat sedih pun aku tetap seorang diri. Dan aku memang… patah hati…

Ketika bulan berganti, pada akhirnya aku memutuskan untuk berhenti meratapi. Aku harus sadar bahwa sedih adalah konsekuensi. Dan tidak baik bagi ku untuk selalu berharap pada segala yang sudah tak pasti. Lalu, aku berjuang untuk menghentikan rasa yang sudah lama mengakar dalam hati…

Butuh waktu cukup lama bagi ku untuk menulis rangkaian kata ini sebagai salam perpisahan untuk mu, kak. Hari ini, kuputuskan untuk ucapkan selamat tinggal pada mu. Aku harap sekarang kau bahagia dengan nya yang selalu kau damba. Dan aku menunggu kabar kalian mengucap janji setia.

Terima kasih karena sudah selalu menjadi penyemangat tiada henti. Dan terima kasih karena sudah menciptakan kisah indah di hidup ku yang monoton ini. Kini, ketika kulihat posting-an mu di dunia maya, aku dengan bahagia bisa tersenyum dan berbisik dalam hati “ini dia kakak yang pernah membuat ku jatuh hati dan menjadi alasan bagi ku untuk selalu memperbaiki diri..”

 

Selamat berbahagia, kau yang membuat ku jatuh cinta…  

*pict credit to google

Hatred overcome our thoughts that white and black started to be grey

I am not interested in writing politics or controversies in my country. However, there is a bombastic issue that dragged me to write this. I dislike any kind of conflict since I love peace more than anything in the world, I never discussed any conflict before not because I am not aware of those, it simply because I don’t want to. Conflicts hurt myself, as it causes disunity. I never give my head on it but now.

I don’t know what should I start from. Probably you guys in Indonesia had known about this problem. It was Jakarta Governor who dragged into polemic due to his statement in Kepulaun Seribu, Jakarta. Actually, if we truly examined what he said about not just listen to the news in the media, we will understand that he didn’t mean what we thought about. He just stated that the verse might be used as a propaganda against his proposal to be a candidate of Jakarta Governor. However, many people started to boycott him, started to dislike him. And the problem became religious tensions everyone noticed. There were Muslim demonstration against him with 4^th November protest. And the polemic began bigger, and there was another protest named 212 protest.

In 212 protest, there was a very silly yet ridiculous controversy about big bread brand producer. A netter posted a photo stated "Thank You" for the producer for supporting the protest by giving free out of bread to the protester. However, the producer made a clarification described that the company didn’t do that but a consumer did. On its statement, one of the point stated as follows:

“PT … always commit in maintaining nationalism, unity, and Bhinneka Tunggal Ika by trying to be Indonesia pride”

I can’t understand why this statement didn’t go over well with many netizens. It just indicated the producer commitment to create unity in Indonesia, but it bowed out a huge movement. Many netizen started to boycott the company by initiating hashtag on social media. It became viral and many stores declined the product to be sold in their shelves. Moreover, due to the founder of the company who is a  Chinese descent, the controversy just get bigger and many statements embattle the bread product were posted in every social media. Most of the posting described that if you are Moslem  and eat the bread, you don't believe your own religion. And, we need to move to another bread product produce by Moslem only.

I am a Moslem myself, and I disagree with that kinda statement. How come the boycotter perceived that the statement from the company insulting Islam? This is pretty silly yet worrying. Even bread can destroy our unity. Don’t the boycotter realize that the product they discarded was made by Indonesian, and initiating the movement and hashtag may harm others (including Moslem) who work in the company?

I am suspicious that this religion tension drove by some groups to gain power. Jakarta will held governor election in 2017 and the government received numerous critics. The tension just get bigger day by day. Boycotting in the name of religion became top news everywhere. If we examined the polemic well, we know that the news and the posting in the social media created hatred to particular things. And the hatred develops everyday by increasing propaganda in the social media. This is what I fear about.  Netizen doesn’t even filtered any news published in the social media, and we just go to it. We like, we share, we make a protest. The hatred just overcome our thoughts that white and black started to be grey.

I am sad and very disappointed that this country started the controversy about diversity. From the era of founding fathers and even thousand years before, it is noted that Indonesia is made of diversity. Many ethnics, religions, cultures develop in the same place, even our national motto "Bhinneka Tunggal Ika" which taken from Sansekerta stated "different but unity". We had been lived in peace from the first, why we don't maintain it till the end?